Tumblr

Hey guys!

I just wanted to let you all know that I've essentially moved over to my tumblr account, which you can find here. I might post here from time to time for more rambly posts, but for the most part I'm over there.

Come follow me!

xx
-e

Rhythm & Poetry

Recently I've been on a huge poetry writing kick. Partially because we're reading so much good poetry in Lit, partially because Alyson and I were talking about it and she always inspires me (see: Slipping Reality in complete form), and partially because lately I've been in a very dreamy sort of state of mind.

I'm not sure why, either. Its a very romantic feeling, for certain, and I have no clue why I'm feeling it. Ever get that way? Maybe because Valentine's Day is in a couple weeks?

Ah, who knows.

Anyway, I thought I'd share a poem with you. It is personal, so while I'm not going to be terribly specific about its meaning I will go into a little background of why I'm sharing it.

I'm becoming more of a public figure now, and the idea excites me every day. In the extreme version of this reality, I have no intention of sharing all the intimate details of my life with the press if I find it unnecessary to my career. Who I'm dating or who I'm voting for in the next election is my business, and has nothing to do with writing.

That being said, I AM a writer. It is my job to share with you. Of what fans I have I appreciate them so much, and like how Darren Criss graces my screen with his charisma and shares his talents with me, I too hope to share my talents with you. Hence, Slipping Reality, hence, this blog, hence, this post.

So I'm sorry if you have questions about the poem. The only question I will answer is this:

Why share this poem?
The answer is because this is the last thing I'd ever share with the Internet. Not because its incriminating, not because its a dark spot on my image, or anything of the sort. Its the last thing I'd share because it makes me blush. I squirm over it. I wiggle about it. I don't think its all that good. Its raw. Its rough. And I only wrote it ten minutes ago.

I just want to prove to you, and myself, that I can share things that are good and things that are not so good. That I can share things that are on topics I'm less comfortable with discussing (love life over grief) because I want you to feel something, too. That is the point of my writing. That is the point of artists who paint, artists who compose music, artists who dance. To share themselves, to share their feelings. I can't be all about my grief, because there is more to me than my grief. So, so much more.

With all that nervous rambling energy used up, I give you A Far Off Promise

There is a seed in me

I was four, I was young

I thought it might one day grow

Like the waves lapping over into the sea

There is a bud in me

I was young, I was thirteen

I thought the bud had bloomed

And I thought I was not ‘fraid for its wilt

There is a dignity

I am young, I am seventeen

I do not feel, nor yearn

Yet sometimes the yearning does the feeling

And—

If the heart has always wanted

The brain has not allowed

Simple in its stature but strong in its plea

Sure of a far off promise

Like the almost forgotten dream

She awakens in me

She sighs, and she dreams

Hello, as if to say

I am here.

You must pay attention to me, now.

If the waves stopped crashing

If the bud stopped blooming

If the promise stopped keeping

She would still be.

It is for you! she cries;

Oh!

You, who strums Your will—

It is for you!

There is a need in me

Fall–!

I am young

Fall—!

I am young

Fall—!

I am young.

-e

The Mean Reds

I've got 'em, and I've got 'em bad.

For some reason, I am in really poor health. A lot. I'm not sure what I do wrong - I only pig out one a week or less, I portion control, I sanitize, I sleep (a LOT)... so why do I always end up sick?

It just seems weird, and wrong, and I don't like it. I'm really hoping I can figure out what's wrong with me (or my immune system, or my heart, or my health, or whatever) once and for all.

Meanwhile, I'm focusing on writing a guest article for the Living with Loss magazine, along with doing a guest blog post one of my publicists recommended.

Hope everyone is having a better week!
Tally ho!

Happy New Year?

I am so sorry I haven't blogged in so long, guys. Last post I was saying Bye Bye to Writer's Block... turns out I still had it.

In the blogging world, anyway.

2012 thus far has been great. Very stressful and pressing, but great. In the writing world, I'm proud to announce that I'm now officially represented by JKS Communications, and embarking on a publicity tour (both virtual and in person) over these coming months. I'm really quite over-the-top-beyond excited about it, and it is quite great because I really had no idea I was even at that point to gain a publicist. My parents sprung the possibility of it on me literally the day before Julie Schoerke (hi publicist! :D) accepted me. I remember sitting there on the couch as they told me - I literally thought it was going to be a discussion about financial aid and how they can't pay for college or something like that, and instead I learn about how I am one step closer to sharing Slipping Reality with the world.

Needless to say, I was in tears. It was unbelievably so overwhelming.

Besides press commitments (nothing in the upcoming right now except a radio interview next Tuesday) and working on press releases and all that, I've been very swamped with health and first semester grades. It's a huge relief to be in second semester now, because all I have to do is my best rather than INHUMAN AWE-INSPIRING BEASTLINESS.

Plus, I got accepted into some very fine colleges, including Emerson and my top choice, Chapman. While it's a not a sure-fire bet I'll be going there, it's pretty damn close, and I'm really quite excited.

We'll end today's blog post with Emily's Current Picks.

Book to read: In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
Movie to see: Beauty & the Beast in 3D (Disney makes 3D not obnoxious, and I love it. Plus, a Tangled short, what more do you want?)
TV to watch: Ghost Adventures (why? Because it's hilariously terrifying. It's kind of my new obsession, and only because I enjoy how Zak Bagan's muscles get more screen time than the ghosts themselves)
Music to listen to: I've been meaning to check out Jason Mraz's new stuff, which all of you should too. Right now I basically listen to what CDs are currently in my car, which would be Frank Sinatra's Best of the Best and Adele's 21. I've also been enamored with Sara Bareillis's (forgive me for botching her last name, I always have and always will) song "Gonna Get Over You". It's very dorky-cute in its blend of old-timey bounce and current-age pop.
Music to learn: Since I'm a piano-sheet-perusing fool, my recommend is "Don't You Remember" by Adele. It's currently my favorite thing to play on the piano. That and the "Up" theme ("Married Life"). Go for it, musical readers.

Tally ho!

Bye Bye Writer's Block

...That is, when I actually have something to write. Stuff's going on right now in my life, but nothing really worth talking about. And definitely nothing book-related. Yet.

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!

Gimme Thanksgiving?

It's been a tough week. Poway's lost yet another Titan, Luke Lipscomb, a junior who passed from a severe head wound. I don't want to go into the details because it doesn't matter - I didn't know him, but I'll miss him so.

I don't think its this common to lose so many students over the span of four years in high school. I don't think it ever should be.

I just wanted to pay my respects to him before moving on, because I wanted this post to be more light-hearted but I couldn't write anything until I made sure he was mentioned and loved.

Right, then... have some random tidbits from my life:

Tonight I have some sort of PTSA commemoration to go to for my school. Apparently I'm being awarded something, but I have no idea for what or by whom. So I'm looking forward to figuring that lil' mystery out.

Then, I'm going to Disneyland on Thursday, which will hopefully lift my spirits about Luke, and get a dream come true handed to me - a tour of the Dream Suite. I can hardly wait.

I also have recently become obsessed with this show Once Upon a Time. I'm not sure why, because the writing definitely is laughable at times, but I just can't get enough of it. The costumes (at least in the fantasy world) are really cool, and the guy who plays Rumplestilskin is epic. Not to mention the totally hawt sheriff in their little town, but you know, details details.

I am doing absolutely nothing on Thanksgiving, though I'm dying to go to LA. Someone want to kidnap me? I really want to see family, and I'm kind of really in the mood for an orange freeze at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

And finally, I am thankful for having next week off because I am pretty much done with school. Oh wait, there's still six months left? Shut up.

Tally ho!

Talent vs. Social Life

Today was a rainy day.

I love rainy days. Especially when they're not at school, because its like the weather giving me an excuse to be lazy.

So I curled up with a book (The Perks of Being a Wallflower - read it) and a blanket, and read on the couch for a while. Then I was hungry, so I made some peanut butter toast and a glass of milk. And while I'm sure I have all of you at the edge of your seats with my exciting story thus far, I do have a point. And it is more than a cool story, bro.

See, now that the fall play is over, I find myself in a similar pattern I've fallen into each of these four years of high school - I now, actually, have time to do stuff.

And my brain goes, "What?"

Not just stuff, of course. I've been doing stuff this entire time, that's the whole point. Memorizing lines, working on my character, blocking, movement, trying not to kill cast members, all that tough stuff. Devoting my life to rehearsal until ungodly hours. And managing a 4.4 GPA (don't ask me how that happened, because I have no idea). And applying for college. And oh, you know, all that other crazy stuff I do.

Now I get home at 1:30 thanks to off-roll. And it gets dark early now, so I'm like, "Time for bed!"

Clock: 5:10 PM.
Me: ...Close enough.

Right, so I'm getting off track here. Back to today. I've finished my delicious toast, practiced a little "Chasing Cars" on the piano, and then thought to myself, "Well gee, Emily, now that you have time, you might as well do that thing that you do where you write stuff and it reads good."

And also, to work on my grammar and pray people got the Zoolander reference.

So I sat down to write. And I realized how terribly out of practice I was.

I'm not saying what I wrote was bad - it was actually quite good, once it came to me. I am, however, realizing that on weekends when I wasn't rehearsing and had time, I was out with my friends. I've come a long way from freshman, sophomore and even some of junior year where I preferred Skyping with Alyson and Lauren to any actual human contact.

Now, mind you, part of this comes from the fact that Alyson and Lauren are just as busy as I am, so its not to say I sacrificed anything on their behalf. My decision to keep in touch with them was, well, my decision, and I wouldn't change a thing, not ever (and if either of you are reading this, Skype me dammit).

But in the summers and weekends when my grief was fresh and my friends still new, I was fine seeing them at school but on weekends that was my hermit time. I would watch my favorite movies, I would write, and I would do absolutely nothing else.

Now my priorities have shifted a bit. On weekends I try to make them as busy as possible, so I am not left alone with myself. I used to be very comfortable with solitude, and quiet, and now it seems I can only sit still for so long before I begin to want to cry. Grieving, sure, it'll do that to ya, but grief isn't the point here - the point is how peculiar I find it that choosing to spend time with my friends and have a good time interferes with my ability to write.

Because honestly, it took me a while to think of what I wanted to say before I could say it. Eventually, in fact, I just gave up and started typing until I could find something to go off of. Not a bad thing, but certainly new.

That didn't last long, though, because my mom asked if I wanted to watch a Disney movie with her, and I was over and out in moments. More movies commenced with Liz, whom I invited over, and my day got instantly brighter. I was reminded of why I love rainy days, staying indoors with a valid excuse. Rainy days are the world's way of telling me that it is now socially acceptable to do absolutely nothing and not be chided for it.

I understand that this blog is probably extremely scattered, but I did want to make a point - I seriously envy some of the people I know who have it all going for them but can still be social butterflies. If I want a social life my talent suffers, if I want time to write my social life suffers.

First world problems, I know. Glad to have 'em in any case, because while this isn't really an issue for me, I thought it would be interesting to write out. And interesting it was, because looking over this probably makes little sense to anyone besides me.

So let's make it available publicly! Yay!

Tally ho!